Part
3 - Chapter 3
ON
COURTSHIP, AND THE MANIFESTATION OF THE
FEELINGS BY OUTWARD SIGNS AND DEEDS
A
POOR man possessed of good qualities, a man
born of a low family possessed of mediocre
qualities, a neighbour possessed of wealth,
and one under the control of his father,
mother or brothers, should not marry without
endeavouring to gain over the girl from her
childhood to love and esteem him. Thus a boy
separated from his parents, and living in
the house of his uncle, should try to gain
over the daughter of his uncle, or some
other girl, even though she be previously
betrothed to another. And this way of
gaining over a girl, says Ghotakamukha, is
unexceptional, because Dharma can be
accomplished by means of it as well as by
any other way of marriage.
When
a boy has thus begun to woo the girl he
loves, he should spend his time with her and
amuse her with various games and diversions
fitted for their age and acquaintanceship,
such as picking and collecting flowers,
making garlands of flowers, playing the
parts of members of a fictitious family,
cooking food, playing with dice, playing
with cards, the game of odd and even, the
game of finding out the middle finger, the
game of six pebbles, and such other games as
may be prevalent in the country, and
agreeable to the disposition of the girl. In
addition to this, he should carry on various
amusing games played by several persons
together, such as hide and seek, playing
with seeds, hiding things in several small
heaps of wheat and looking for them,
blindman's buff, gymnastic exercises, and
other games of the same sort, in company
with the girl, her friends and female
attendants. The man should also show great
kindness to any woman whom the girl thinks
fit to be trusted, and should also make new
acquaintances, but above all he should
attach to himself by kindness and little
services the daughter of the girl's nurse,
for if she be gained over, even though she
comes to know of his design, she does not
cause any obstruction, but is sometimes even
able to effect a union between him and the
girl. And though she knows the true
character of the man, she always talks of
his many excellent qualities to the parents
and relations of the girl, even though she
may not be desired to do so by him.
In
this way the man should do whatever the girl
takes most delight in, and he should get for
her whatever she may have a desire to
possess. Thus he should procure for her such
playthings as may be hardly known to other
girls. He may also show her a ball dyed with
various colours, and other curiosities of
the same sort; and should give her dolls
made of cloth, wood, buffalo-horn, wax,
flour, or earth; also utensils for cooking
food, and figures in wood, such as a man and
woman standing, a pair of rams, or goats, or
sheep; also temples made of earth, bamboo,
or wood, dedicated to various goddesses; and
cages for parrots, cuckoos, starlings,
quails, cocks, and partridges; water-vessels
of different sorts and of elegant forms,
machines for throwing water about, guitars,
stands for putting images upon, stools, lac,
red arsenic, yellow ointment, vermilion and
collyrium, as well as sandalwood, saffron,
betel nut and betel leaves. Such things
should be given at different times whenever
he gets a good opportunity of meeting her,
and some of them should be given in private,
and some in public, according to
circumstances. In short, he should try in
every way to make her look upon him as one
who would do for her everything that she
wanted to be done.
In
the next place he should get her to meet him
in some place privately, and should then
tell her that the reason of his giving
presents to her in secret was the fear that
the parents of both of them might be
displeased, and then he may add that the
things which he had given her had been much
desired by other people. When her love
begins to show signs of increasing he should
relate to her agreeable stories if she
expresses a wish to hear such narratives. Or
if she takes delight in legerdemain, he
should amaze her by performing various
tricks of jugglery; or if she feels a great
curiosity to see a performance of the
various arts, he should show his own skill
in them. When she is delighted with singing
he should entertain her with music, and on
certain days, and at the time of going
together to moonlight fairs and festivals,
and at the time of her return after being
absent from home, he should present her with
bouquets of flowers, and with chaplets for
the head, and with ear ornaments and rings,
for these are the proper occasions on which
such things should be presented.
He
should also teach the daughter of the girl's
nurse all the sixty-four means of pleasure
practised by men, and under this pretext
should also inform her of his great skill in
the art of sexual enjoyment.
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