Part
3 - Chapter 5
ON
CERTAIN FORMS OF MARRIAGE
WHEN
a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in
private, she should send the daughter of her
nurse to him, it being understood that she
has confidence in her, and had previously
gained her over to her interests. On seeing
the man, the daughter of the nurse should,
in the course of conversation, describe to
him the noble birth, the good disposition,
the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of
human nature and affection of the girl in
such a way as not to let him suppose that
she had been sent by the girl, and should
thus create affection for the girl in the
heart of the man. To the girl also she
should speak about the excellent qualities
of the man, especially of those qualities
which she knows are pleasing to the girl.
She should, moreover, speak with
disparagement of the other lovers of the
girl, and talk about the avarice and
indiscretion of their parents, and the
fickleness of their relations. She should
also quote samples of many girls of ancient
times, such as Sakoontala and others, who,
having united themselves with lovers of
their own caste and their own choice, were
ever happy afterwards in their society. And
she should also tell of other girls who
married into great families, and being
troubled by rival wives, became wretched and
miserable, and were finally abandoned. She
should further speak of the good fortune,
the continual happiness, the chastity,
obedience, and affection of the man, and if
the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavour to allay her shame
2
and her fear as well as her suspicions about
any disaster that might result from her
marriage. In a word, she should act the
whole part of a female messenger by telling
the girl all about the man's affection for
her, the places he frequented, and the
endeavours he made to meet her, and by
frequently repeating, `It will be all right
if the man will take you away forcibly and
unexpectedly.'
The
Forms of Marriage
When
the girl is gained over, and acts openly
with the man as his wife, he should cause
fire to be brought from the house of a
Brahman, and having spread the Kusha grass
upon the ground, and offered an oblation to
the fire, he should marry her according to
the precepts of the religious law. After
this he should inform his parents of the
fact, because it is the opinion of ancient
authors that a marriage solemnly contracted
in the presence of fire cannot afterwards be
set aside.
After
the consummation of the marriage, the
relations of the man should gradually be
made acquainted with the affair, and the
relations of the girl should also be
apprised of it in such a way that they may
consent to the marriage, and overlook the
manner in which it was brought about, and
when this is done they should afterwards be
reconciled by affectionate presents and
favourable conduct. In this manner the man
should marry the girl according to the
Gandharva form of marriage.
When
the girl cannot make up her mind, or will
not express her readiness to marry, the man
should obtain her in any one of the
following ways:
On
a fitting occasion, and under some excuse,
he should, by means of a female friend with
whom he is well acquainted, and whom he can
trust, and who also is well known to the
girl's family, get the girl brought
unexpectedly to his house, and he should
then bring fire from the house of a Brahman,
and proceed as before described.
When
the marriage of the girl with some other
person draws near, the man should disparage
the future husband to the utmost in the mind
of the mother of the girl, and then having
got the girl to come with her mother's
consent to a neighbouring house, he should
bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and
proceed as above.
The
man should become a great friend of the
brother of the girl, the said brother being
of the same age as himself, and addicted to
courtesans, and to intrigues with the wives
of other people, and should give him
assistance in such matters, and also give
him occasional presents. He should then tell
him about his great love for his sister, as
young men will sacrifice even their lives
for the sake of those who may be of the same
age, habits, and dispositions as themselves.
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