Part
5 - Chapter 2
ABOUT
MAKING ACQUAINTANCE WITH THE WOMAN
AND
OF THE EFFORTS TO GAIN HER OVER
ANCIENT
authors are of opinion that girls are not so
easily seduced by employing female
messengers as by the efforts of the man
himself, but that the wives of others are
more easily got at by the aid of female
messengers than by the personal efforts of
the man. But Vatsyayana lays it down that
whenever it is possible a man should always
act himself in these matters, and it is only
when such is impracticable, or impossible,
that female messengers should be employed.
As for the saying that women who act and
talk boldly and freely are to be won by the
personal efforts of the man, and that women
who do not possess those qualities are to be
got at by female messengers, it is only a
matter of talk.
Now
when a man acts himself in the matter he
should first of all make the acquaintance of
the woman he loves in the following manner:
He
should arrange to be seen by the woman
either on a natural or special opportunity.
A natural opportunity is when one of them
goes to the house of the other, and a
special opportunity is when they meet either
at the house of a friend, or a caste-fellow,
or a minister, or a physician, as also on
the occasion of marriage ceremonies,
sacrifices, festivals, funerals, and garden
parties.
When
they do meet, the man should be careful to
look at her in such a way as to cause the
state of his mind to be made known to her;
he should pull about his moustache, make a
sound with his nails, cause his own
ornaments to tinkle, bite his lower lip, and
make various other signs of that
description. When she is looking at him he
should speak to his friends about her and
other women, and should show to her his
liberality and his appreciation of
enjoyments. When sitting by the side of a
female friend he should yawn and twist his
body, contract his eyebrows, speak very
slowly as if he was weary, and listen to her
indifferently. A conversation having two
meanings should also be carried on with a
child or some other person, apparently
having regard to a third person, but really
having reference to the woman he loves, and
in this way his love should be made manifest
under the pretext of referring to others
rather than to herself. He should make marks
that have reference to her, on the earth
with his nails, or with a stick, and should
embrace and kiss a child in her presence,
and give it the mixture of betel nut and
betel leaves with his tongue, and press its
chin with his fingers in a caressing way.
All these things should be done at the
proper time and in proper places.
The
man should fondle a child that may be
sitting on her lap, and give it something to
play with, and also take the same back
again. Conversation with respect to the
child may also be held with her, and in this
manner he should gradually become well
acquainted with her, and he should also make
himself agreeable to her relations.
Afterwards, this acquaintance should be made
a pretext for visiting her house frequently,
and on such occasions he should converse on
the subject of love in her absence but
within her hearing. As his intimacy with her
increases he should place in her charge some
kind of deposit or trust, and take away from
it a small portion at a time; or he may give
her some fragrant substances, or betel nuts
to be kept for him by her. After this he
should endeavour to make her well acquainted
with his own wife, and get them to carry on
confidential conversations, and to sit
together in lonely places. In order to see
her frequently he should arrange so that the
same goldsmith, the same jeweller, the same
basket maker, the same dyer, and the same
washerman should be employed by the two
families. And he should also pay her long
visits openly under the pretence of being
engaged with her on business, and one
business should lead to another, so as to
keep up the intercourse between them.
Whenever she wants anything, or is in need
of money, or wishes to acquire skill in one
of the arts, he should cause her to
understand that he is willing and able to do
anything that she wants, to give her money,
or teach her one of the arts, all these
things being quite within his ability and
power. In the same way he should hold
discussions with her in company with other
people, and they should talk of the doings
and sayings of other persons, and examine
different things, like jewellery, precious
stones, etc. On such occasions he should
show her certain things with the values of
which she may be unacquainted, and if she
begins to dispute with him about the things
or their value, he should not contradict
her, but point out that he agrees with her
in every way.
..
Swami Veet Chintan T'Zorba-Krsna
Jyotish
Shastracharya
& Vedic Astrologer of India
Main
Menu